Time for a re-boot

Time to re-boot my life.....Things have gotten to the point where the chaos is too much and the constant fight with food is taking over. Now it's time to get out of this.....time to commit to healthy recovery 100% - no matter what - time to put myself first, not matter what. Time to say NO without feeling guilty to all the "shoulds" that spiral into frustration.

How did I get here? The question is valid. I had such a great recovery - full recovery. But that was then - when life was a bit more simple - when I didn't have two sons and a full-time job and a full-time nanny and full-time worries - But that isn't an excuse...I am not going to use those precious boys as an excuse.....they are the most difficult thing in my life, but also the most priceless.

So am I recovering for them? Another good question - and in part yes, I will recover for them. But mostly I will recover for me - for my sanity and my self-worth. To rid myself of the blackness of bulimia and starving myself....to abolish the mad dashes of binging in secret and yes, eating cupcakes in the parking lot.

I've been down this road before - so I know it is possible...that is to my advantage...I know the sweet freedom of health and recovery....and I will hold onto that with everything I have.....but as I said, my life is MUCH different - so I will have added challenges yes, but also hopefully added supports. Added strenght to the journey.